So last night my internet went down, it still was down as I wrote this post fortunately the situation had resolved itself by the time I got home tonight, anyway last night inspired me to write about how much we actually depend on the internet, I probably speak mostly for myself here but hey at least I can admit it, I’m an internet addict!
Here is my own little guide to internet deprivation induced insanity:
Stage 1: Inconvenience
Ok so this is a very mild stage, your net goes down, it’s a little inconvenient but you are a strong person, you are sure you can cope with this, you’ve been thinking about taking some time away from your PC to read that ever dusty collection of books you have or maybe go for a walk, nows a good a time as any, plus when you’re done the net will probably be back up anyway!
This stage starts out very positive, in fact you may even be happy about it, you will probably venture outside your room/house, see some real humans and probably start reading that collection of books!
Stage 2: Annoyance
This is when it starts to become a little inconvenient, you are still positive though, who needs the internet to have fun! You have real friends right?……right? Just give them a call see if they wanna hang out, oh wait they’re all at work, ok then, let’s find something fun to do, play a game, do some drawing, I don’t know really, what do people not of the internet do for fun these days?
You’re now starting to feel a little anxious, but surely it’ll be back up soon, I mean it’s been 5 minutes already how much longer can it go on really?
Stage 3: Anxiety
Ok so that positivity is starting to fade and the negativity is seeping in at this stage, you have now decided to try restarting your PC, surely that will work, I don’t know, usually Google will have the answer, but, oh wait you can’t google it cause you have no internet, you’re starting to realise just how much you really rely on the internet for your daily life, it’s not the same with out it and now you’re starting to get worried it won’t come back on!
Stage 4: Loneliness
So the negativity has completely set in now, as you watch the last few hopes of the internet ever returning you start to feel alone and cut off from the rest of society, I mean how will you know what your friends are doing? Surely this madness will end soon, restarting your computer didn’t work so now you’ve resorted to restarting the router, if this doesn’t work then all hope is lost! Your social life is all but gone and you realise that you are probably the only person whose life revolves around the internet, although deep down you know this can’t be true, there must be other survivors of the dreaded internet downtime battle out there, you just have to make it through and you will emerge a changed person!
It’s now been 20 minutes without the internet, you’re frantic and are trying to think of every possible reason and fix, heck you have even called your service provider, to no avail all they could recommend was restarting the router! I mean they obviously don’t understand your suffering, do they not think you have tried this already?
Stage 5: Despair
All hope is lost, the internet is gone never to return, you are now sat in a corner rocking back and forth wondering what your life has become, how can one person rely so much on something so simple?! As far as you’re concerned the battle has been lost, there is no point in trying anymore you may as well accept defeat, you wave your little white flag and vow never to get so attached to anything again.
45 minutes of this torture, how do those survivors make it through, they must be strong, a lot stronger than you at least! You have now shut your PC and turned your back, never to return, you wish to live a normal life and a life with the internet simply doesn’t offer that!
Stage 6: Relief
This stage usually occurs an hour or two after the incident, you’re feeling a bit better now, your wounds are healing and curiosity gets the better of you, you’ve opened your PC and see the little wifi light flickering!!!!! Never have you been so happy to see that little red light, it’s like magic, the internet has returned, you vow to spread the word, warn people of the suffering that the internet can cause, but in reality you head straight for Facebook and forget it ever happened, doomed to return to the same suffering once again at the hands of internet dependency!
Hope you enjoyed that guys, thought it would be fun to talk about the emotional stages that I go through when my internet goes down, it wasn’t so bad last night, I think I have finally got control of the suffering, it used to be real bad when I had crap internet, now my net rarely ever goes down, so when it does it’s not so bad!
Hope you enjoyed this post!
See you tomorrow.