Category Archives: Freedom

Moving Home… 4 Weeks In.

So a month ago on the 8th I moved back home to my parents house, along with Arran, in preparation for when baby comes (Still no sign of him! he’s now 4 days late!!!)
The last 4 weeks seem to have flown by, maybe because we have been keeping ourselves busy or maybe just cause of our imminent arrival, I’m not really sure, either way I can’t believe it has been a month already!

Living back at home hasn’t been too bad and I feel like Arran has adjusted to it pretty well also, I was worried that it would be awful, losing that freedom of having your own house and doing whatever we want whenever we want, but it has felt more or less the same, granted we don’t have as much space to ourselves here and have to live in a way that is considerate towards my parents but on the whole things have been a lot easier than I thought they were going to be.

The main reason for the move was so that once baby is here we would have the support of all my family, seeing as all of my family live within close proximity of each other it makes being able to drop on someone for help a lot easier than had we still been living in Burton, where we had no family or friends, I also didn’t want to be alone with a newborn once Arran went back to work.

We will also save quite a bit of money by moving back into my parents house which means we can hopefully save up for a nicer house in a nicer area, I will hopefully be able to go back to work even if its only part time a lot sooner than if we had been on our own which means we will have even more money saved up and of course another big thing is we will be able to have time to ourselves without having to always be mom and dad cause there will usually be someone on hand to help look after baby, which will be nice cause there are quite a few movies coming out in the next few weeks that I would love to go see!

So yeah, on a whole moving back home hasn’t been too bad, a lot easier than I thought it would be, but it is definitely not a permanent solution and once baby is here and we’ve had a month or two to adjust we will probably start re-assessing our options and maybe look at getting our own place somewhere close by, that way we have the best of both worlds, our own house and family support close by!

Fingers crossed!

When Tiny Feet Leave A Big Imprint…

On the 3rd of January after a few weeks of feeling sick and sleepy I found out I was pregnant, it was a bit of a shock although I was sort of expecting it, I never actually thought it would ever happen to me, for some reason I had convinced myself that I’d probably never get pregnant, I don’t know why but that is how I felt, turned out I was completely wrong.

This then led to one of the single most hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make, I had the support of my family and Nick, they all said they would stand by me whatever decision I made…

I never thought I could get so emotionally attached to something I have yet to see, or feel, turns out that maternal instinct kicks in pretty quick, at least for me anyway, I didn’t realise just how much I was emotionally attached to this little thing growing inside me, til now, its been 7 days since I made the choice to terminate it, 7 of the most emotional days of my life since I was 16, I’ve not felt this upset about the loss of something since my Nan died, it took me years to properly get over that and now I’ve chose to put myself through this, but what gives me the right to create life and then end it?

I’m trying to keep it together, carry on like normal but its a struggle, I pray that by some miracle the surgeon missed it, that it survived, because all I want right now is to go back a week, change my decision and give this little one a chance, part of me has gone, part of me I can never get back and its killing me…

It will always be my first, even though i will never see the little feet that left such a big imprint on my life, i will never forget, hopefully one day I will get another chance at being a Mom and I will cherish it with everything I have, because every life has value.

Global Games Jam Day 2: Pixel Art & Snacks

Today is day 2! 

All is going really well so far, hopefully I don’t jinx it by saying this but I reckon maybe we will be finished early, we have one level of three complete already and all the art is pretty much done, we just have to sort our menu, intro and get everything together in engine and we are done! Our scope has been much more appropriate this year as well so it has felt a lot more relaxed which is nice!

I’ve been working on a cauldron, it’s been a long time since I’ve done any 2D/Pixel Art but I’m pretty pleased with how it’s turned out πŸ˜„ 

Original Cauldron!

It has taken me most of yesterday evening and about half of today to get to a point where I was completely happy with it, I also have a couple variations of it which are now all finished!  

Cauldrons finished!

I think it looks awesome! 

We have tons of other art assets that are now finished as well and they are all amazing! Can’t wait to see how this game looks when it’s finished! 

Anyway, I’m gunna go upload a sneak peek of our game to YouTube now and then I shall share it with you all!

Also incase any of you were wondering, our game is called Cooking With Cthulu! 

It’s gruesome and awesome! 

Anyway, I am actually going now, I’ll post again later! πŸ˜ƒ


Happy 4th Of July!!

Jut want to wish all my American viewers a Happy Independence Day!

Hope you all had some great 4th of July parties with much drinking and celebrations!

Enjoy your fireworks!

Time To Pack

Sup guys, how’s it going?

I’m not feeling so great today, didn’t get much sleep cause I’ve had so much going round in my head recently so I’m pretty damn tired today, I’m also feeling a bit ill, not sure if it’s hayfever or a bug, guess I’ll find out in a couple days!


Today is my last day in Stafford til September 😦 which unfortunately means it’s time to start packing my stuff away… I hate packing, it takes so long! Especially seeing as I have so much stuff… Takes me two car loads to get it all home πŸ˜›

My parents are picking me up at 11am tomorrow and then I probably won’t be back til September when I move into the new house!

I’m looking forward to having good internet again when I get home, still using that crappy BT WiFi :/

Anyways I’m gunna go start this packing! Hope you all have a great day and I shall see you tomorrow!


Easter Breeeeeak!!!

It’s finally here!!

My Easter Break from Uni started on Friday and to say that im glad would be an understatement, really need this break to sort myself out, try to get a bit more motivated and to get on top of everything! Hopefully it shouldn’t be too hard =P

So today has been pretty productive, I’ve spent most of the day sorting my room out, I had so much washing to do, I was pretty much out of clothes =P I’m now about halfway through maybe, don’t think I’m going to get it all done and dried by tonight but nevermind, guess I’m hogging the washing machine and dryer for another day =P

Yesterday was a fun day, me Gilly and Nick went into town to play some pool, then later we all came back to mine and played some board games with Vaidas and watched some YouTube videos =D

Did anyone see the eclipse on Friday? I got up early to try to watch it, I think the last one I remember was in the late 90s, I remember being a kid and playing out with my sister and our friend, we were expecting it to go really dark but it didn’t, I don’t remember if I actually saw it back then or not though =P
I did see the one on Friday though, in my infinite wisdom I decided to ignore all the advice about viewing it, stupid I know, and I looked straight at it….. not for like long periods of time, probably like a couple of seconds, it burnt my eyeballs and I had a headache all day, not one of my better ideas =P in the end I used the hole in a piece of paper technique and it worked really well! I was actually surprised that it worked, I wasn’t expecting it to but it was really cool to actually see the eclipse projected onto the other piece of paper that I was holding, wish I’d taken a photo of it now but ah well, you live and learn, I was just enjoying the moment =D

It’s now like 200 days til I got to Disney!!! I’m soooo excited =D I felt like I hadn’t reminded you guys in a while so thought I needed to =P

Anywho, hope you all have an awesome weekend and I shall see you in the next post!


People Watching…

As I write this I’m sat in Stafford train station, waiting, I’m going home to see my mom for Mothers Day, overslept a little, wanted to get up at half 9 ended up not waking up til 11, it’s cool though I rang her so she knows I’m still coming home, also looking forward to one of my dads sausage sandwiches when I get home!

Misjudged the train times as well, thought my train was at 10 to 1, turns out its at 20 past, so I’ve now been sat here for 40 minutes waiting…. With Ellie Goulding, chocolate, my iPad and people watching to keep me entertained…..

People watching in train stations is pretty fun, especially when you notice something they haven’t, then you watch them to see how long it takes them to notice, for example, I’m sat in the waiting room of platform 1 and the window looks out onto the platform, on the platform side of the window there is a pretty big spider hanging from the ceiling…. Nightmare fuel I know, but, there was a woman who stood right next to it for a good 20 minutes and never noticed, the spider was practically sitting on her shoulder…… She eventually noticed it and moved away, now I hate spiders, like I will freak out if one comes near me so I would probably cry if that happened to me.

I always wonder as well, what all these people are doing, where are they heading, it would be interesting to find out, I mean most are probably just doing things like going home, visiting friends, going to work etc. but it would still be fun to know, don’t you think? 

I also wonder how many people watch other people, people watching?! And what they’re thinking when they’re doing it…. Maybe they wonder the same.

Give it a thought next time you find yourself people watching =)


So on Friday at uni I had the urge to play Fifa… they have a PS4 in the SU which you can get out with your student card and play on, we got it out and I played Fifa……. and that’s where things went downhill =P

I suffer with Fifa Rage, basically every time I play it I get very aggressive and start shouting at the tv =P it’s all in good fun though =P

I played Mariah, Gilly and Nick at Fifa on Friday, me and Mariah drew, i beat Gilly and then lost to Nick twice…. This then led to me coming home and buying my own copy of the game for PS3…

I always used to hate Fifa, mainly cause they’re like CoD, so many of the same game just churned out year after year, they also don’t look that great compared to other games on the market. Fifa ’99 was my favourite and I was convinced none of them would ever get better than that one, it was my childhood =P then I played Fifa 14 and now I’m addicted…. my inner football lover has shown herself =P

Last night was great, Gilly came round and we had Chinese, watched a bit of tv and then played Fifa all night, I beat him 5-0 it was amazing! I had so much fun as usual =D

He’s now here again with Nick and we are playing Fifa again, first game I beat Nick 3-1, second game he handed my ass to me, we’re doing winner stays on so now him and Gilly are playing whilst I write this =P its funny listening to them, both yelling at the tv =P

Anyway, hope you all had a great Valentines Day and I shall see you in the next post!!


Valentines Day! <3

So tomorrow is Valentines Day! Hope everyone is looking forward to it, even if you’re not in a relationship, it’s a day to show those who you care about that you love them!

Even though people say its something you should do all year round I think its nice to have a special day for it! I mean pancakes get their own day so why can’t love!?

Its date night tomorrow night for me and Gilly, we will probably get a chinese and watch a movie or something =) have a nice chilled night in =D

You guys got any plans for tomorrow?

I also start my driving lessons again tomorrow! WOO! I’m having them in Stafford now as well so I wont have to go home every week for my lesson which will be nice and save me like Β£7 every week!!

I’m excited and a bit nervous about it though cause, new people and all that, but I’m sure it will be totally fine!

Anyway, hope you’ve all had a good week I’m off for a late night Maccies! I shall see you in the next post!


Life Is Gooood!

So last night I was lay in bed on my iPad reading other people’s blogs and I found one that got me thinking, thinking about how thankful I am for everything and everyone I have in my life at the minute =)

So where do I start? I guess a good place to start would be with the blog I was reading, so here it is, go check it out it might get you thinking too!
It’s called thoughtsunqualified and the post was about acceptance, mine isn’t quite the same but it’s around the same sort of topic =)

My family….. My family are amazing, don’t get me wrong sometimes they are annoying as hell but I wouldn’t change them for the world, my dad is hilarious and my mom, well sometimes we clash, especially when I was younger, were both very hot headed but not so much these days, I’ve learned to just sit back and ignore, learnt which battles should be fought and which I should let go, but all the same she is an amazing woman, I can talk to her about anything and she will help, she has always been there for me, as has my dad and they both have my best interests at heart, even if sometimes I can’t see it, I know they are usually right. My sister is awesome too, we used to fight a lot when were younger, but now we talk and hang out, get drunk together and have fun, I can tell my sister things I can’t tell anyone else, and she will always be there for me, as I will for her =)

My friends….. I have the best social group, like that’s not even an exaggeration, when I was going through my break up they were all there for me, even when I was constantly mopey and did nothing but moan or get depressed, they never told me to shut up and they were always giving me advice =) I also love how we rally around each other on deadline days, we keep each other motivated and I know if I run into a problem I can turn to them for help, I’m pretty sure I would have failed a lot of uni work by now if it wasn’t for them, life without them would be very boring, they make me happy and I couldn’t be without them =) it’s funny really, I came to uni with no intentions of making friends, I was here to get my degree and that was it, now here I am 3 years later talking about how amazing they all are! How times and attitudes change =)

My boyfriend….. Well what can I say, he is amazing, he makes me incredibly happy =) I can talk to him about literally anything and I know he won’t laugh at me or judge me, I know I can rely on him for anything, he’s kind, caring and funny and such a gentleman to me =) he’s amazing at cooking, like, he makes the best cumin chicken ever!! He’s there when I need someone to vent to or just to talk in general, I can share secrets with him that I’ve never told anyone and I know he will never break my trust =) we have a laugh together and we have a lot of fun together! I’m a lucky girl to have him in my life =) he’s also pretty damn sexy, in my opinion =P

My extended family….. Well these guys are the best, they make me laugh, our family get togethers are always a ton of fun and my one aunt on my moms side has kept me going many many a time and I am incredibly grateful for her help and just generally for all of them =)

Freedom….. I love my freedom, I love living away from home, not having to answer to anyone, being able to come and go as I please without having someone ring me up to see where I am, I enjoy my 2am walks to ASDA alone with my headphones blaring, I don’t do it often, usually when I find a situation overwhelming, it gives me space, space to think and get things in order before I confront said situation. I enjoy the freedom of being able to get stupidly drunk, knowing that I’m going home to my own house where I can spend the whole of the next day in bed feeling sorry for myself and I especially love the spontaneity that living away from home gives me, I can just invite people over whenever I want, or they can just drop in when they feel like it, cause it’s my house and I don’t need to ask permission!

So yeah, right now my life is pretty awesome I’m enjoying every minute of it, taking each day as it comes and hoping that it just keeps on getting better! I wouldn’t change it for the world!

And hey it’s Friday! That’s something else to be thankful for right cause tomorrow is the weekend!

Hope you guys are all having an awesome day =D